found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
