u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
