she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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