Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
