My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
