i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
