I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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