i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
