he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
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I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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