Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize