ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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