i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
