batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
