Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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