My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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