Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
