Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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