I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
3pm strippers are depressing
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize