Someone shit on the floor
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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