"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We have so much sex to catch up on
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
