tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
