we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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