my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize