i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
