dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He did a backflip because drugs
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
