all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
