i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Randomize
