shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Someone signed my nipple.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
