my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
