I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
