You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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