When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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