Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
