My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I believe in your delicious
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
