# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm both gender and math confused
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
