it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.