I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
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I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
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he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.