He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.