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• (917): View more from New York City

  I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...

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• (786): View more from Florida

  I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (772): View more from Florida

  No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.

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• (415): View more from California

  Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."

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• (323): View more from California

  Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.

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