I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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