you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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