I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
should my penis look like a turkey
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
