Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
