Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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