Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
