just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
