I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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