my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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