I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
