u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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