You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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