Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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