it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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