Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
my liver is dry heaving
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
