I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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