what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
