I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
