I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
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Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
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I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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