yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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