I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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