If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
