remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
