how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize