forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize