She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
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I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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