is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize